Obituary of Maryellen F. Tompkins

Maryellen (Fleming) Tompkins fulfilled the final part of her life's motto, "Life's a bitch, and then you die," on October 26, 2024. She was born a premie on December 26, 1950-something. Despite Maryellen's best efforts to arrive on Christmas Day, she was just slightly too late and always disappointed that she didn't get to be a gift to the world like Jesus. Maryellen was a lifelong resident of the Twin Tiers, located in "Hell on Earth," where she tried to get along with everyone but barely tolerated most people. She fiercely loved: -Her grandchildren, Hailey and Jackson. -Her children, Jeffrey, Autumn, and Stephanie & Tiffanie. -Her son-in-law, Steve, who was her favorite "because he's the only one," and her daughter-in-law, Rosemarie, for the same reason. -And her husband, Marshall (Ric). And in that particular order. Maryellen had many careers over her lifetime, including factory worker, welder, and o-ring fabricator. This experience taught her the importance of… a well-placed F-bomb (or three), a slick comeback filled with those F-bombs, and the fact that a no-holds-barred attitude was an essential survival skill. She never missed the opportunity to tell people that she would put grown men to shame with her work ethic, attitude, and foul language during her time in the factories—because if she didn't, they treated her like she was inferior. Maryellen made sure she passed these attributes down to her children. She often told them, "Don't be a doormat for the world," which (loosely translated for the general public) means hold your head high, keep your spine straight, and don't take shit from anyone. While Maryellen was a no-nonsense woman, she just wanted to raise strong, independent people. And her children all agree—she did her best. Maryellen was blessed with a few natural talents, including making newborns cry just by looking at them, intimidating Blue Ridge School District when it made her kids' lives difficult with her famous one-liner, "If I have to come down there, heads will roll," and, though she rarely admitted to mistakes, she'd say without hesitation that her first marriage was the one exception—while Ric was, without a doubt, the best decision of her life. It's often believed that the opposite of love is hate—but it isn't. It's indifference. And Maryellen was never indifferent about anything in life. She was always ready and willing to whoop anyone's ass in rummy, to tell people to go to Hell, and to eat the occasional piece of cake for breakfast—as long as it was birthday cake, because nobody in their right mind refuses birthday cake. Except for "those fat-bashing" people, who think their calorie count dictates their worthiness for being welcomed into Heaven. At Maryellen's request, no viewing or funeral will be held because she didn't want "fake tears" cried over her casket. In lieu of flowers or donations, embrace your inner Maryellen and tell someone to go to Hell. You'll feel better and definitely won't be seen as a doormat for the world. And if you're offended after reading this obituary, you truly didn't know Maryellen and should refer back to the first sentence in the paragraph above.